My Birth Story

It's amazing how some experiences in life can be both miserable and wonderful at the same time. And giving birth is one of those times, it was for me anyway. When I gave birth to Brooklynn she was in a transverse breech position and I had to have a planned C-section. While this wasn't what I had always dreamed of having, everything went smoothly and according to plan. This time nothing went according to plan and the events spiraled into something scary. But somehow God gives us strength to walk through the flames and not get burned (Isaiah 43). 

With Sabrina I was planning a VBAC because of many reasons I didn't want to have a C-section again. Just like the first time I had terrible swelling in my feet, but this time when I reached 32 weeks I started becoming swollen in my hands, arms, legs, face, all over. I knew I had read somewhere that this was not a good thing so I went in to see the doctor. I can no longer remember all the numbers but apparently my blood pressure was so high I could have had a stroke and so they sent me to the hospital right away. They ran several tests and they all came back good so they put me on blood pressure pills and sent me home with the possibility that it could turn into preeclampsia, but hopefully not. 

So sure enough 2 weeks later all my symptoms were back and they started running the tests on me again. I had been hoping we could at least make it to week 37 for the safety of the baby, but at this point I was only 34 weeks and 2 days which made me very scared that something could happen to Sabrina. Well the next day all the tests came back bad, I mean life threatening bad! The only way to cure the condition and keep my organs from shutting down was to deliver the baby right away. So the following 6 hours became very intense as they started me on magnesium which makes you feel so hot and dizzy, it's just awful! And then they started prepping me for surgery and there went all my dreams of a natural birth, again. But by that time I was so miserable I just wanted it all to be over. My blood pressure kept rising and then I started going into labor and having strong contractions. The doctor said my body knew the baby needed to come out and started reacting naturally, pretty amazing. 

I also was very nervous about the epidural and it really was going to take everything in me to get through it so by the time I made it to the operating table I was so distraught and trying to get through it that I think all the adrenalin went to my head and I started freaking out. I felt like I was going to faint and throw up at the same time, I was shaking really bad and my chest started hurting and feeling like it was hard to breath. So they told me they would give me something to help me relax. I remember Ryan trying to keep me distracted by talking about other things and I remember seeing Sabrina's face and Ryan going with her and then I fell asleep. Next thing I knew it was all over and I was left wondering where is my baby and is she ok?

I'm pretty sure I talked to Ryan and my parents after, but I can't remember anything until the morning, which was actually just a few hours later. I remember seeing Ryan asleep and forcing him to wake up and go check on Sabrina. I just wanted someone to tell me she was ok. She was on oxygen and an IV, but was doing good. She actually had 2 miracles occur for her. One was that her lungs were developed and breathing on her own. This is something that normally wouldn't happen for another few weeks. She also, due to my high blood pressure, had learned in the womb how to adjust her heart rate and so was already doing that herself as well.  It was pretty amazing that she already had those 2 things. She was born 4 pounds exactly and 17 inches and I was very anxious to see her.

I still could not get out of bed without passing out or throwing up as they still had me on that magnesium for 24 hours after the birth. So that night I was very emotional and upset that I still hadn't been able to hold my baby or even see her! The nurses were so compassionate though. They moved a bunch a stuff and made a way for them to roll my bed into the NICU so I could see her and at least hold her hand. It was so hard to see her in there, but I was so grateful that they allowed me to do that and that she was doing ok. But that first week became difficult and scary for all of us. First her IV became irritated and they had to take it out and couldn't get it back in. So they put it in her umbilical cord. Then that wasn't working out, so they put in a picc line in her leg. Then that floated up to her stomach and caused an infection, so it had to come out, they had to put her on antibiotics, and put in another IV in her foot and hope it stays. This all took place in that first week and everytime something went wrong, the doctor was there telling me the possible bad things that could happen and having me sign consent forms to do it all anyway. It was so scary. Everyday I didn't know if I might lose her and everyday I was in tears praying for God to save her. I never before had to experience what its like to cry out to God over your child. It was truly the hardest week of my life. 

But God sent so many blessings that week to help me through. Friends who had experienced similar events sent me messages of prayers and encouragement. Several people came to the hospital and prayed with me at the most critical times. People brought meals to our home for Ryan and Brooklynn. People brought me snacks at the hospital. People sent over preemie diapers and clothes. Friends I hadn't see in so long came to visit. Family was there to help instantly. God reminded me of verse after verse that he was with us and showed me blessing after blessing. Each time we hit a rough day, Sabrina pulled through beautifully. She's my amazing little fighter and I know God has great plans for her. The second week she started eating on her own. Eventually the IV and feeding tube were removed and she was gaining weight and breathing on her own. Finally 13 days later we got to take her home. Poor Brooklynn had had a traumatic experience as well with me being gone and then coming and going from the hospital so much, but when we brought the baby home, she was so excited!

Sabrina continues to do well learning to eat and it is so great to be all home together as a family. So it didn't turn out as planned, so far nothing in our lives has gone according to our plan, but we trust in God's plans and are grateful for how he has blessed us in them. Not sure yet, what the future will hold. I always wanted to have 4 kids, but we're pretty sure I did have this condition towards the very end with Brooklynn and it was ten times worse with Sabrina. The doctor said it tends to escalate with each pregnancy. So I think I'm done risking my life and the life of my child. We don't want to go there again. So who knows, maybe adoption will be in our future, but for now we are going to enjoy our little family of four and thank God for his many blessings. Thank you so much to everyone for praying and supporting us in so many ways. God blessed us through you all as well!

Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free^. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. I shall not die, but I shall live, and recount the deeds of the Lord. I thank you that you have answered me  and have become my salvation. The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone. This is the Lord's doing; it is marvelous in our eyes. This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. You are my God, and I will give thanks to you;  you are my God; I will extol you. Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!  Psalm 118

New Glasses For Us Girls :)

Even though I started wearing glasses when I was like 10 years old, it never occurred to me that my baby would have to before she had even turned two. I was a little worried at first, but now I can see what a difference it has made. She never even fought us about wearing them, she immediately saw a difference and wanted to wear them. When she wakes up, she points to her eyes. I can tell she is finding things better, more coordinated, and amazingly she has said so many more words this week. I'm not sure if its connected, but it makes me wonder if she's heard us saying these words all this time and now that she can see what we're talking about, her brain is making connections. Her vocabulary has really exploded this past week, so it makes me wonder. I feel bad that all this time she couldn't see and we didn't know, but I'm glad we caught it so soon and now she can see so much better! I have been wearing contacts for the most part for 15 years, but she is so happy when she sees me wearing glasses like her so I guess I'll be wearing my glasses too! Check off one more new experience on the Parent list!

Discovering a Whole New World

Now that we are back to being desert dwellers, Brooklynn has a whole new world to discover and sometimes it feels like we do too. I have to say I very much got used to the lifestyle of Europe and relearning the lifestyle of Phoenix has not been as easy as I thought it would be. Instead of walking to the playground, we now drive there and instead of being in snowsuits, we don't even have a jacket on. Everything seems so fast and busy making us feel tired and overworked. Sometimes it feels like being back home, but sometimes it feels just plain weird, like where am I? But as much I miss the beauties of Budapest, the lifestyle, the culture, and the friends we had there, I am so enjoying being with family and friends here and I think Brooklynn is too. She starts laughing when she sees her uncles and gets excited when she goes to play with our friends who live close by. She loves giving kisses to her grandparents and I love that we are close enough to see everyone often. I hope someday we will get to visit Europe again and maybe other new places, but for now we will continue to introduce Brooklynn to the beauties of the desert...the mountains, the cacti, the amazing warm sunsets.

From Budapest to Arizona

Everyone always asks me so how is it having had a baby in Europe and well I don't know how to answer that as I have never had a baby in America, so I have nothing to compare to. Now that we have traveled back home I am getting to experience the opposite. Where many people have children in their own country and then travel with their child to a new country, I had my baby in a new country and have now come back home. I am sure as we start to get settled in, it will be quite the experience, like having to learn new things again.

For example, the first thing I was faced with upon arriving in America was the car seat. We did not have a car in Europe, I carried her on my back everywhere. A few times we did ride with a friend a borrowed a car seat, but this was the first time we were using it on a daily basis and it took some getting used to for all of us. Also not carrying her has been different. I have carried her all over the world in front and on back, but suddenly I have no where to walk to. Everything is driving and when I get to somewhere like a store, I put her in the cart. The other day I decided to walk to a nearby store and put her on my back, people were staring at me like I was from Mars which was nice (not). I was stared at like that in Europe because I obviously looked foreign, now I'm being stared at again in my own country, its a weird feeling.

The next thing was going outside to play. We were used to walking to a beautiful park, now a beautiful park is hard to find and I'm not walking to it. And often Brooklynn wants to just play outside in the yard of my parents house which we were never able to experience before living on the 6th floor of an apartment, so that's been kind of fun.

So its odd to be experiencing new things in a country that is my own where nothing should be new, but its ok, I'm glad to be home and I'm sure we'll figure things out just in time for something else in life to change and we have to relearn all over again! :)

I Hate Goodbyes!

This week I had some of my mommy friends from the baby club over for a little goodbye brunch. I have so enjoyed their company, advice, talks, walks, and friendship over this past year and half. I'm not sure I could have survived having a baby in another country with no family or old friends around without these new mom friends I made. They have been such a blessing and I will be very sad to have to say goodbye to them. I will really miss them and our weekly club time together!

St. Stephen's Day Celebrations

Brooklynn had such fun playing in the parks all day and seeing the parades. She even tried to run out to the street to join the parade several times! We have always enjoyed celebrations in Hungary and now we are getting to enjoy them with Brooklynn which makes it quite different. I think this holiday will be our last festival in Hungary though, which makes me sad. There are many things about Hungary I will miss when we leave and seeing Brooklynn get excited at their beautiful parades is one of them!

Compassionate Mommies

I love being involved with the baby club in Budapest! I have met so many wonderful moms and everyone is always so willing to help each other out, it truly is a blessing. This month we had the opportunity to help a mom whose little girl has cancer. The Budapest mom's group wanted to have a fundraiser to collect some money to help the family by having a raffle. So many people helped out. So many people donated prizes. And so many people bought tickets! They raised so much more beyond their expectations, about the equivilant of $4000! It was really amazing to see how all these moms pulled together all their resources, spread the word, and helped this family. You can go to this link to find out more about the family. http://www.bogitombola.com/

I hope when I return to America, I will see this same kind of compassion with the moms I meet :) Here's a cute picture of Brooklynn at the event :)

Traveling with a Baby

When we decided to come to Europe we had planned ahead of time that we were not going to save our money and vacation time going back to the states, but instead seeing other places. While it has been hard to be away for almost 3 years straight, it has been exciting to see other parts of the world. Then we had a baby. While the traveling slowed down a bit, we have learned how to bring her on our trips. There is so much more to think about and many upsides and downsides to bringing a baby, but it has been wonderful just the same. Our most recent trip was to Italy and while it was a little tiring trying to see everything with a baby on your back, I think it went pretty well!

First off, we live in Hungary and Hungarians, in my opinion, are a quiet type people. They do not talk loud or yell and it seems their babies are never screaming in public, except mine. Well Italy is the exact opposite and seemed to be the perfect place for Brooklynn to scream and whine and nobody cared! One day we were walking back to our hotel and a shop owner was standing outside his shop and as we passed Brooklynn was doing that fake wining crying. The shop owner went right up to her and copied her whining loudly right in her face! Brooklynn just stopped and stared. We couldn't help laughing, not only did it work, but you would never see that happen in Hungary or America and I think most Hungarians or Americans would get upset at someone doing that at their baby. But being that my family is Italian I was almost glad to see it. Instead of getting stared at by other people like, "what's wrong with your baby?", he helped take care of it and it worked. Later we passed back by his shop again and Brooklynn wasn't whining anymore and we all just smiled. It was really quite relieving that we could be loud and no one would even think twice about it.

Walking around the city was also quite different. While I had Brooklynn on my back most of the time, sometimes she needed to get out and walk around. Budapest and in America as well, you would not just let your kids walk down the middle of the street or even close to the street. Obviously the street is for cars and is dangerous, but in Italy so many people were walking all over the streets that often I thought we were on a pedestrian street and then along would come a car or scooter or truck! Suddenly everyone would instantly move to the sides of the street and when it passed go back into the street. It was so weird and made me a little nervous, so that was a new interesting experience!

In all, our travels with Brooklynn have gone pretty good and it has been great to experience difficult cultures with a baby!

Backpacking the baby

So getting around Europe with a baby has proved to be quite different than we planned. We don't have a car and easily get everywhere by public, but when you add a baby it becomes a little more difficult. We first bought a stroller and a small carrier and sling. The sling was great and the carrier worked good too, but she eventually got too big for them. Then we were trying to take her everywhere in the stroller, but it was so difficult. There are stairs pretty much everywhere you go and our stroller was too big for me to carry on my own so I would either have to have Ryan with me or find some long way around where ever I was going to get around the stairs or escalators to the metro or whatever. It eventually got so annoying, we decided to try something different. So we decided to sell all that and invest in Beco Butterfly carrier. This carrier is great! I can carry her in front or on my back and it is made so well, she doesn't even feel heavy. Plus Ryan can carry her too. She's doing well getting used to it now and I've been able to take her all over town and country on my back. Its been really great actually and I highly recommend it for anyone with a baby in Europe.

Brooklynn loves animals!

Brooklynn has never seen animals in person before, but her first experiences this month have shown she really likes them! First we had a friend come visit and she brought her little dog. Brooklynn was not afraid at all. She went right up to the dog and tried to pet him and look at his face and laughing. I was so surprised. Then we decided to take her to the zoo. We went into the petting zoo where there were many goats, baby goats, lamas and such. She showed no fear, just wanted to walk around and chase the goats and pet them. She would talk jiberish to them and laughing and saying, "hi, hi" to the animals. She was so cute. I was so amazed at how independent she was and how much she enjoyed being with the animals. We also took her into the aquarium and she loved seeing the fish and tried so hard to touch them through the glass. I think someday we will have to get her a pet. And I am curious to see as she grows older if she continues to love animals and not be afraid. She certainly didn't get it from me! I'm glad Budapest has such a lovely zoo. It was a really fun day!